You’re Grieving. You’re Overwhelmed. But when people ask how they can help, you draw a blank.


Are flowers and casseroles what you really want when you’re grieving? Probably not. Here’s how to get the invaluable support you need after a loss. I’ll never forget a conversation I had with my friend Alison the week after my husband died. I had just moved from the UK to Canada, and was getting set up in a hastily booked apartment. Alison asked me what I needed. “Nothing,” I said, unable to think straight about much of anything. “Do you have any sheets to sleep on tonight?” she asked. “No,” I said. “How about plates or utensils or food?” she continued. “No, I don’t have those either.” We laughed, and Alison proceeded to do the thinking for me. I was lucky.

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How I learned to help the grieving - one text message at a time.

Grief Grief Support

When someone we know loses a loved one, it’s hard to know what to say or do. We often struggle with our own fear and discomfort. We don’t know how to help. And instead of reaching out to the griever, we shrink away, hoping they will eventually return to “normal.” But it’s a fallacy to think that life will go back to normal for the griever. Instead of going away, grief becomes the new normal. And that silence, that lack of outreach, can become a widening gap that’s more and more difficult to bridge.

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